NPNS-Part 2

>> Wednesday, June 09, 2010

During the workshop, helpful tips were given to bridge the gap between post-Boomers/modern parenting/friendship with children vs. helpful parenting skills from the Baby Boomer era.

1. Parents increase your authority to make a better mix between a "friendship with child model" and solely "parenting model". Recent studies have shown when parents increase authority children increase communication with parents. This may not have worked a generation ago but it works now. It is projected that kids today want rituals, consistency and ground rules. They need it and want it as it expresses love and caring. The therapist speaker said, "Do not be afraid to say no and mean it. Do not be afraid of loosing them."
2. When doing time out for younger children realize that time outs have changed from the original definition. It has now become about the silent treatment and disconnecting rather than connecting and giving reason to the discipline.
3. New generation needs responsibility and accountability. Ex. A woman took her young child of three years old, to a late meeting and the child started becoming cranky, even crying after 9pm. The mother said in front of everyone, "Maggie, find your limits". The therapist who was not on duty at the time stated, you should take her home as she is exhausted. It did not dawn on the mother that her child should be home at that time and blamed the child for not having self control at that hour of night. The therapist stated she wanted to tell the mother to find her own limits.
4. Provide Collaboration, Co-regulation, Praise, Support and Confidentiality when working with the modern families or post-boomers. Repairing the families of the 21st century makes for innovative invention. Ex. A father and son had a disagreement. The son slammed his door and stayed in his room not wanting to talk to his lack of understanding father. The father then took out his cell phone and text his son. The son text back. They went back and forth until the son came out of his room and the dad was in front of the door. Eventually, little by little they were texting each other while standing in front of each other. They became resolved.
5. Did you know that research also shows the more praise you give to children, the less they do? When giving praise be sure to praise them for their efforts. This is more productive than to praise them because they are just wonderful. It is a powerful thing when they go against their hard wiring. Ex. a shy kid joins a group or a spirited child does a kind deed. This is when they should be acknowledged.