The Famous Question

>> Monday, March 22, 2010

Did I marry the right person? At some time or another either one or both spouse have entertained this question. I can't tell you how many couples I have heard insinuate or openly asked this question. Or it can be camouflaged in this statement, "Maybe we are not meant to be together". I made a post on something similar some time in December on "Destiny or Choice".

I spoke to my father the other day who is married to a woman who is not my mother. I grew up with her and my dad during some summers and she was nice to me. Yet in my mind my mother was the perfect complement for him. He chose her, who I respectfully call my aunt, for many great reasons. But honestly my mom is a Goddess. It's only now that I am married that I have stopped wrestling with the question of how they did not end up together. She is with someone else who I used to think, "How in the world, did they end up together". Again, now that I am married I see things differently.

I was in love with someone that I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. He was just perfect for me. He was attentive, gentle, kind, a great speaker, intelligent, very funny, the list goes on. We were best of friends like peas and carrots, butter and popcorn, ying and yang .... I have no idea what happened. My unknown husband was around at that time and I would have never guessed that he would be the one. He was quieter, lacked humor, into computers (a geek), overdressed but he was kind. I still look back and say how did this all happen and we had children?

This is the Destiny/Choosing question. In healthy relationships (meaning not under the influence, drug abuse, mental illness, or unclear judgment) we choose until we chose who we are destined for. Even if you think this may not be the person for you. I made a mistake. In a healthy relationship "The powers that be" would not have let you marry the person. As you didn't marry many people you thought you should have been married to. Even when you marry young. I would not include arranged marriages unless the couple has an agreement in choice.

So you are who you're with because they really are meant for you. It's only through the hard times do we second guess. So while you have them, realize that of all the people you thought or think you should be with, this one is for you. A partner to which you are to grow together, to which you stated, through the good and bad, riches and poverty, health and is for the brave not the faint at heart and no matter how long the bad times, there are just as long good times, and one thing I am sure of like I know my name; the good times always come.