Don't Be So Serious.

Don't be so serious. Laugh a little. It's like a yawn it is infectious! (Did you just yawn hearing the word yawn?) When the bills are piling and the kids are fighting and someone at work is talking about you and there are issues with relatives and in-laws and you still haven't been able to do that one thing you enjoy, put a smile on your face and start making fun of life.

Be light hearted, share funny things with your spouse which you read online. My husband shared this caption with me last night: (Picture of a man standing and looking on the inside of a car, speaking to a woman driver). Heading: "Real Male Prostitution" Man: Hey baby, I'll talk with you all night long. (Get it? Women want to talk, even if she has to pay a male solicitor).

He enjoys sharing funny things he sees online with amazing pets and funny lol videos. It really has made me lighten up. It has been infectious and I decided to play more with the kids. I haven't played Uno in some time with my six year old who I let win more times than I want to admit and I enjoyed scaring my eight year old who found it expectant for mommy to be childish. How sad as I haven't been immature for them as often as I used to before they got" big boy" homeworks.

I played a joke on my husband and he was impressed. But repaid me well when he was speaking of all the new things he would get. One of which I shook my finger in his face while he was driving and said as long as you don't come home with a hot babe. He then stated, "What do I need with a hot babe, I have one at home, what I need is a cool babe"!

Have fun, enjoy the moments, create fun times and don't be so serious!

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We Became Friends

I am from NY where we don't have to drive if we do not want to. NYrkers have a choice of public transportation and I know that place like the back of my hand.. (wait what's that spot...) Besides the stressful atmosphere, who wants to drive? I sure didn't need it. Not my husband, he is a true cruzer. Every now and then he would give me a lift to work in "Blue Car". Then came motherhood and we got "black car". Black car served our family well until one day; the big 40 came. My husband was turning 40 and his birthday request was to get a car his grandfather had and then his father owned and now he reached a point in his life when he wanted an Audi.

Was he out of his mind! We are parents! Then I remembered how wonderful of a spouse he has been and provider and father and assistant house cleaner.....the evidence was overwhelming. Plus he had never asked for anything for his birthday in the last 8 years. So I said yes. And he was a very happy camper. We went to the dealership he wanted and we saw an A4 and an A6. They also had an A8 but we were not going there. He was not sure which to get so I sat in the back of the car where my children would be and it was clear the A4 had no room for my children's legs. The A6 would do.

(Our new place in Virginia)

We drove it to Virginia, upon our move last year. We have had it for 4 years now and it has always been his car. Well now that we both need to drive he is happy as he was driving the car himself, all this time. I have to say I was not sensitive in the least to him driving, as this was his car and I had my subway. Who would have known this would become a source of marital stress? And when it came to driving, I was out of practice. I wouldn't drive as I avoided stress of the streets and highways, now the same stress crept into my home. Of course I wanted to avoid the stress of resentment for me not driving. I didn't have a choice anymore and that made me angry. And I had no right to be. I knew he had won this one but I needed time.

6 months later and I surprised him for new years and drove him around. But the first time I got in the car, I opened the door and the seat slid forward by itself. I interpreted this as "She did not want me in the driver's seat as it was reserved for "Him". It has a lot of cool gadgets so I eventually arrived at this conclusion. My husband later told me that has never happened to him and found my reasoning humorous. Now I drive her all the time and have become good friends. Parking is always a work in progress and I joke with other drivers how terrible I am at parking and how they may never get out or into their car.

(My favorite place to drive to in VA)

The other day my husband mentioned trading the Audi in and I was surprised at my reaction. "No way!" I said. "You can get a new car. This one is mine". Then I realized the car and I had became friends. At this point there was not resentment from my husband for not driving. As I became friends with his car, he became friends with me. Men can be strange in that way.....

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"I Folded the Clothes".

I remember sitting in my Couples and Marriage Therapy course and one concept led to another that led to another that made me remember the code names my girlfriends and their husbands have for when they are intimate. After class I mentioned it to my Professor as he said this was a great idea and asked permission to use our methods of blushed humor and discretions of married life.

It started when several couples got together for dinner. It was lots of fun. We all identified our personalities to another wife or even a husband. We spoke about differences and similarities, having children, where we grew up and how good the pot luck was. Then one couple talked about going for "Coffee". My husband and I looked at each other. The couple asked us about our abrupt look. We told them our reference is about me "getting my hair done", giving an example of a time when someone complemented me on my hair style and we almost giggled. I told them thank you but when we were out of ear shot range, I teased saying, "I have the best beautician ever". (My husband currently finds much humor in when I really do need to go to the salon. He loves to volunteer his services. lol)

Some couples at the dinner decided to come up with their own phrase. It was a fun evening. We have since had children and scattered to live in different states. So the other day I was doing the laundry when my husband came to ask me if he can help. I told him "sure." He made advancements to which I became aware that he did not come to help with the laundry. When I returned to attending the laundry, I asked him where he was going, reminding him of his offer; to which he said, "I did." "I folded the clothes".

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Discover Each Other--Again.

Spending time away with just your spouse is a refreshing treat when you have children. If your family really loves you they will care for them during the week you are gone, if not out of mercy for your marriage. Honestly, it was another well needed honeymoon. We used our resources.

We stayed at Myrtle Beach in a posh hotel we got for a good deal. Thank you connections. We drove down the closest street to the beach at night and walked during the day. I have a license but only recently started driving. My husband coached me while I drove on the South Carolina freeways at sunset.

We ordered dinner from the Hotel Restaurant. Of course I ordered this dish with the biggest shrimp you have ever seen and dined under moon light, seated on the outdoor sun chairs with umbrellas, near the pool, while looking at a movie on the laptop. The sound of the waves were twenty feet away. A green frog caught our curiosity and four older adults who had been drinking, decided to all fit in the hammock across from us. They all fell and my husband and I had the best laugh and entertainment than the movie.

We bought great souvenirs after getting a tip from a resident, the shop had amazing prices. Later we met up with a very prestigious friend of ours who took us to lunch at an all you can eat seafood diner. Oh, my, I almost died from overeating. We did have a draw back. Our rental car had a flat tire and we made the most of it telling jokes like:

Me: "Should I stick my bare leg out for someone to stop".
My husband: "Do you think they will stop?" Maybe I should stick my leg out instead".
Me: Playful slap on his upper arm.

Just our luck the rental car company was right at that exit and we drove there getting a better car than the one we had. It was two months ago but we still have such fond memories. All marriages need a retreat. It should be made mandatory even if you have to save up for once a year rendezvous or plan something simple but enjoyable, where you can discover the area and each other.

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Mind/Body/Spirit II

BODY

Is your body a reliable vehicle? Is it healthy? The scriptures say to treat our bodies with honor. That means nutrition, hydration, movement and rest. Rest is a big one for many of us because we do not like to sleep and we deprive ourselves of rest thinking we will be more productive but that is untrue. (1st Corinthians 6:19&20, Proverbs 23:7, Proverbs 15:13, Proverbs 16).

Your soul is a tenant in your body. Are you a good steward and property management or are you a slum lord? Is your soul housed in impurity and pollutants or righteousness and healthiness?

Your heart is within your body. How are you treating it? What is in your heart expresses what is important to you? Paul Pears says our heart is a think tank. and it reveals a lot about who you are.

Illustration: There was a conference of medical doctors who were discussing the heart as a think tank in link with the brain. There was a debate among the doctors. One doctor came up to the podium and told this story: She had a patient who was 6 years old who had a heart transplant from a ten year old girl who was murdered. The killer was never found. The 6 year old girl started having vivid nightmares and during the day describe a man who murdered her. The parents took her to her doctor and the local police. The little girl was able to describe the 10 year old's neighbor's height, conversations before the murder, the place and weapon and other details. The neighbor was confronted by police and he confessed to the murder of the 10 year old girl.
What would your heart say about you?

Hebrews 3:12-15 speaks about not having a hard heart. Our hearts are always speaking to us to do the right thing. We can prevent spiritual atherosclerosis. Don't stuff your feeling. Pull it up from the root, the same way you do weeds or it will grow back. The speaker, Candice says she has "self induced labor pains" where she looks at a sappy movie or listens to sappy music to "shed tears" and "get it all out".

SPIRIT

Your soul is a hidden discovery, Ecclesiastics 3:10-11. We should all be prepared to give an account to how we used our lives for good. God gave us our souls, the one spiritual thing we came into the world with, and he said "Use it well". We will have to return it. Hopefully in good condition. A little worn but in good condition. We can focus on improving the mind and the body yet forget and neglect the spirit. Your soul is the one eternal thing you have. How are you taking care of it?

Many people will say, "I got distracted by wealth and power", "I had hatred because of this person", "It's this person's fault why I am this way and did what I did", "I lived in the here and the now of earthly reasoning and knowledge"......and "somewhere along the way, I lost it and I was not able to get it back." Let's do well to take care of our Mind/Body/and Spirit!

* (I will follow up with the classes and the Sunday service in Part 3).

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Mind/Body/Spirit

"We are not human being having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience." This was the theme of the July 30th Woman's Conference held at George Mason University in Fairfax, Virginia.


Candice (Speaker)
"Mind/Body/Spirit"

Marcia and Kay (Speakers) "Love Your Neighbor".

Classes on "No More Regrets", "Spiritual Detoxing"
"Resilience Training" and more.

Instructor for Zumba Class
of 600 women

Judges for Open Mic

The opening was a Female New York City Comedian who was very funny. I especially enjoyed her Top Ten Women's list. Then there was a dance number to Beyonce's "Get Me Bodied". Candice Started the day with Mind/Soul/Body. She read from John 5:1 and asked us the same question Jesus asked the man who was ill. "Do you want to get well?" She said sometimes we can be at the source of healing and yet not reach out or make a deliberate effort. And so we never receive healing. (John 5:1-14)

MIND
When you travel through life, you need a map to show you clearly where you are going, you need a safe vehicle for transportation and you need fuel to get you there. The mind is your map, the vehicle is your body and your emotions is your fuel.

If you scribble over the map, would you be able to see which way you should go? Some of us have our minds scribed with worry and fogginess causing confusion and blocking us from going where we want to go. We need a clear mind that is at peace. We need accurate vision to where we want to arrive and organization of mind for efficiency. (Continuation on Body and Spirit in part II).

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"There's No One Like You".

*We have reached the end of the "my friends with their own families who have a blog and welcome you to visit" series. Thank you Lady Jennie-A Lady in France, Monique-Platinum Spa Diva, Inno-NetSecurity, Tonya-La Photographer de Relations, Sirin-New York Blog Photography, Tessa-The Jazz Songstress and Dawit (David)-Addis 360.

*The time finally arrived! I have been waiting a year for a Woman's Conference, here in Virgina called, "Mind/Body/Spirit: "We are not human being having a spiritual experiences. We are spiritual beings having a human experience." I will post the two day conference which ended in an amazing church service of 600 women.

I have been so inspired. Until then enjoy Kirk Franklin's "A God Like You: There's No One Like You". I just can't stop playing it!

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