>> Thursday, March 20, 2014 defines patience:


1. the quality of being patient, as the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like.
2. an ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay: to have patience with a slow learner.
3. quiet, steady perseverance; even-tempered care; diligence: to work with patience.

Patience. A noble and worthy virtue to possess especially in love relationships. I have learned from the process of couples working out their differences that this may be one of the basic of all basic valuable tools to a happy relationship.

This is the secret from observing and interacting with couples who have figured it out, sometimes after many many years of being together: The problem is your expectations. Yes your expectations. You may have a particular strength that is your spouses weakness. You EXPECT them to be on the same level as you to change a particular behavior. This causes much stress. Patience says it will take time before they can master the particular thing that is driving you crazy. It may never change. But that is patience. Even if they never change, you will love them anyway.

Remember it works the opposite way as well. You have a weakness in character or a particular area that drives the other person mad and can be frustrating. What is it you expect from them.....patience. The humbling part of a relationship is its balancing act for complementing weaknesses with the others strength. Honestly listening to your spouse and following through with what they tell you will be the secret to your growth in that area. Why? Because it is their strength.

You both are the greatest resource for each other. Use what has been given to you. Be open to the fact that you can learn from your spouse. Go a step further and encourage them by letting them know it is a strength that you would like to learn from them. It might not be right away but it will take a lot of stress of of the relationship.  So be patient with your spouse.