"Throw your heart over..."

DRAFT WRITTEN IN JANUARY 2013.

In tradition, bringing in this new year meant a lot of changes had to be made rather than having the option of changing. Last years January post was about new beginnings and opportunity. The January before that was a sad time and desperation for change. January 2, 2013, I walked into a car dealership and practically demanded the car I wanted. That was a hard thing to do as fear was stopping me for months. That same day I followed through with my next task on my agenda which was to apply for my doctorate which never seems to have "the right timing".

These were my impossibles. Which leads me to the main focus of this post. They were impossible because I set them as impossible. I had to grow to grab fear by the neck and push through with faith. Around this time I had to leave my job in order to get the credentials I need, start a new job and become financially vulnerable. A friend from church sent me an email of a video on positive thinking. The illustration used was of a trapeze artist who was coaching a young member of his team. The young man became afraid and the coach gave him the best advise I ever heard. "It will be okay. Throw your heart over and your body will follow".

It's my 14 year anniversary and already it has started on the wrong foot, note, page....The question is how to translate your successes in each area of your life. The hardest thing in a relationship is to keep the same strategy or pattern as relationships continues to change.Your spouse is really "not the person you first married" and neither are you.

TO BE CONTINUED....

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Transformations

I am back. Lots of changes have happened. I took an eight month hiatus  into the real world and away from online blogging which can substitute for real life. This three year blog was a saving grace for the stress and anxiety of moving here and not being able to find a job. "At the time blogging was the empowerment that was needed as a venue for focusing on ones talent verses the seemingly invisible walls cropping up with each progression that one makes." So what did I do with all the time I had as an educated wife and mother? Turn lemons into.... my own non-profit for scholarships given to minorities.

So what did I do on my 8 month vacation? I worked on myself. Before I gave to my family, my relatives, my dear friends, my job, my foundation, and my blogs. I took time to do things I enjoyed without feeling guilty or worrying, or at least I fought the feelings. Here I was giving the same advice to others out of concern for them and realized I should be just as concerned for myself. I took much better care of myself and did the things I once enjoyed. I took chances and made the most of many opportunities; I even started new hobbies I was surprised I would enjoy.

I am really not the same person I was eight months ago.  It is to the point where I
feel much healthier and feel almost..... transformed. I learned what we all know to be true but I was able to change my relationships and family dynamics for the better, just from taking care of myself. It does not stop there. In hindsight I was always being transformed. Even when I was not working and with each "good" and "bad" event that happened to me, it forced me to grow. We are always growing. It does not take an event. It is minute intervals, day by day and choice by choice. Growth is not just physical but emotional as well. We are transformational beings with a desire towards doing good and making good.

Fill in the blank for yourself: When given a lemon I (made)_____________. 

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