>> Sunday, August 22, 2010

In all families I recomend welcoming spirtual fullfilment through meeting with others who share your same outlook on life. This is extremely healthy for a family unit as outside input can make a world of difference in bringing enlightenment and unity to any marriage. Today was our first time at church in Virginia (the sister church to New York) and I loved it. The Speaker spoke about Forgiveness, Bitterness, Malice, Spite, Cattiness and Justice. They all overlap but each have distinct characteristics.

The highlight of his sermon was poignant and so needed. My favorite part was when he spoke about being hurt by his family and he read 1 Peter 2:21-25, NIV. We get hurt and are wounded, retreating and holding back from those who hurt us. But Jesus used his wounds to help others and to heal others. Although hurt, he never held back his love. He lived 33 years on the earth and people treated him poorly, doubted his abilities, lied on him, spit on him, beat him; even his good friends betrayed him yet he never held back, hurt back or took justice into his own hands as he could have. 2 corinthian 1, says with the comfort you have received, go and use your experience to comfort others. The example of Joseph (Genesis 50) was used as he saved his people and was not spiteful when he could have been. Hated by his brothers, sold into slavery, put into jail, labeled, etc. Yet he was not bitter. Good thing as when the time arose to make a decision as a man with the highest ranking position in the land, he forgave and so thousands benefited.

These points are very useful for family but he also applied them to marriage. With your past wounds do you hurt others? Do you hold back resources, affection, a kind word, all because you are hurt. Maybe hurt by someone from your past and the person present in your life is suffering? Do you hurt others back through gossiping, cattiness, spitefulness and forgiveness? Are you trying to get justice? Must they feel what you feel in order for you to be satisfied? Do they have to say sorry 77 times before you are willing to let it go? Do you have silent tantrums? How important is it for you to get even? Have you developed a hard heart or stubbornness that surprises you about yourself?

History is based on people who felt like this and have made stupid decisions as a result. Look back at their mistakes and then look forward to what would happen if you let it go, throw it away, start off fresh, treat it like the cancer that it is, read scriptures, release in yoga and exercise, use creative prayers, write it down and burn it, start a fund, help someone else, renew yourself, talk it out with your spouse. These are just some thoughts I came up with after his message. Forgiveness is difficult and the issue will try to resurrect, and that's o.k. because you are in control of it. Forgiveness may be hard, but it is liberating and it feels gooood.