Mud or Stars

I am a person who keeps important paper for as long as I can. You never know when you will need the information. It is the writer in me. I can't help it. Anyway, the other day I was going through some old cards, yes I save those too. I am sentimental. I found a white index card with an encouraging message that a friend gave me during my early days of marriage. I started remembering the feelings that came back when she gave the card to me. I was having a hard time in my marriage and she said I hope this encourages you. She is a single professional who was reading a book, she never told me the title of the book, that simply put, encouraged her. She said, "I hope it will encourage you also". It was only two lines that read like this:

Two women looked through prison bars,
one saw mud the other stars.

From that time on I realized your outlook on your situation is important and up to you, not the other person. Everyone's relationship and life has problems. It's how you choose to handle them. The mental state you decide to be in makes a world of a difference. So I now pass the index card to you. "I hope it will encourage you also."

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Naughty Or Nice

Well, I do not know if you have ever heard of a Naughty or Nice Party but it is a must go for any married woman. A friend of mine (MM) hosts this event during the Christmas Holidays to inspire intimacy and closeness in marriages. This is my second of three. Usually there is a guest speaker but this time everyone put their questions in a bag and when drawn, anyone can answer or give input. It was very real as well as sobering to hear what is going on in other people's marriages. It sets a mark for normalcy as sometimes you can think you're on the verge of divorce, when you're not or just think you must be flat out going crazy.

Everyone learned something. One question was about uncomfortability in hearing her husbands struggles or lets say temptations. Such great advice was given which would be opposite of what you would think the average person would say. "You should be glad he comes to you to talk about it. When he doesn't communicate then you should worry." Also, "Do not take it personally, many men are visual, as well as can't help to look at what other women are wearing now a days, especially in the summer!" We learned that we can protect our husbands by offensive strategies, being intimate often, wearing our Secret Santa Presents from the party, lol, listing in a letter all the ways that he is wonderful, placing post its for him around your house (on the bathroom mirror, on the refrigerator, on the remote and tv, on the door to leave, in his car, etc.) The oldest married (CH) received a bonus gift and one of the highlights of the evening were three books. Book of Solomon's "Song of Songs", "The Five Love Languages" and a new book "The Love Dare". All were said to be absolutely amazing, a must read! I have the other two, which are amazing but will be purchasing the newest one today. I was convinced after two pages were read, that I NEED this book.

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Updating Status

A coworker showed this to me. How cool. We have come a long way in technologically, as it is hard to believe, at one time we used Horns and Trumpets for making announcements :)

1/19/10
I had to take off the You Tube Video of a couple at the alter, updating their marriage status on Facebook. The copy write of the video now belongs to the bride so I had to delete the video. It was funny.

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Destiny or Choice

I was just thinking, the person who you married was it destiny that brought you and your spouse together or did you have the freedom to choose your spouse? If it was destiny then no matter who you dated, liked, was head over heals for, hurt you, made you laugh, strongly suggested by parents, had a crush on, etc. These were just learning experiences because everything aligned to that path for when you met your significant other. Or is it the universal law, which says everyone has a choice. Love's best expression is not through force or control but by your freedom to choose. Even if you were destined to marry the person you are with now, at any moment you could have said no. Thereby, saying yes to them could have been a good choice among many choices or options.

The idea of Destiny can seem so romantic but so can choice, which would say, "out of all these people I have chosen you". What are your thoughts as this can go both ways.

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