"I love your last name".

This morning I remembered when we were in our twenties and on date while living in New York City. We took the subway to midtown and had the best conversation. Although it was crowded on the train I forgot there were other people all around us. Somehow the conversation was on the topic of names and I so loved his last name. He really has a cool last name, I thought. In a split second without really thinking of the implications I said "I love your last name. Can I have it?" Realizing the gravity and forwardness of what I asked. I then became sober of others hearing what I had just said and beginning to feel totally embarrassed. He looked at me graciously understanding what I had meant. He then smiled, looked me in the eyes and said, "Maybe, one day". (Three years later my wish was granted).

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"All About That Bass"-Meghan Trainor

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Cynical

Cynical-Bitterly or sneeringly distrustful, contemptuous, or pessimistic. (3rd definition from Dictionary.com)

I went to a marriage retreat when I was two years a wife. It was so good for me. As married women we need so much help and this seminar was ever year. I never wanted to miss them. They were hosted in posh hotels and wisdom from all cultures were present. Food, interesting classes (wives, husbands, and some classes were mixed; dinner and dancing all for $60-$70 a night, per couple. Those were the good old days for such available prices. Also discount was due to the large attendance. One year, 500 couples were in attendance. It was great spending time with wives of all ages. Sight seeing at night with my husband was very special to me and holds many dear memories.

In one of the big conference rooms there was a class for the wives and the husbands were talking about whatever men talk about. (Actually it was about respect of your spouse). In our class the speaker was a woman who had been married for 30 years shared about something I never considered. She spoke about Bitterness. This was a foreign concept to me as a newly wed. But now I realized it was stored away for a later reference. She continued to elaborate and told a story of one particular interaction with her husband. He made a statement that she had heard so many times and she surprised herself in rolling her eyes, something she had not done before. When she looked back she realized she had been making similar small gestures, over time,which she never connected. She recalled verbally cutting him off, and having a yeah, yeah, yeah attitude, as well as mimicking him with her lips when he turned away from her. She said it was so subtle and it crept into her heart. Before you know it "Bitterness" had become "Cynical".

As her respect for him decreased so did her love for him. Her heart had become cold. A declining slope. It came to a point where she had dug her whole so deep it was strenuous digging herself out of the "Cynical Pit" she had made, unknowingly. Once out she wanted to caution all wives of the small and seemingly harmless gestures and thoughts we have about our spouse. For some who dug themselves too deep, the speaker said they could no longer salvage the relationship  which was already weighed down with other obstacles and struggles. She was so grateful to have a healthier marriage, she thought how important to share it with other wives and now I share it with you.

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