"Throw your heart over..."

DRAFT WRITTEN IN JANUARY 2013.

In tradition, bringing in this new year meant a lot of changes had to be made rather than having the option of changing. Last years January post was about new beginnings and opportunity. The January before that was a sad time and desperation for change. January 2, 2013, I walked into a car dealership and practically demanded the car I wanted. That was a hard thing to do as fear was stopping me for months. That same day I followed through with my next task on my agenda which was to apply for my doctorate which never seems to have "the right timing".

These were my impossibles. Which leads me to the main focus of this post. They were impossible because I set them as impossible. I had to grow to grab fear by the neck and push through with faith. Around this time I had to leave my job in order to get the credentials I need, start a new job and become financially vulnerable. A friend from church sent me an email of a video on positive thinking. The illustration used was of a trapeze artist who was coaching a young member of his team. The young man became afraid and the coach gave him the best advise I ever heard. "It will be okay. Throw your heart over and your body will follow".

It's my 14 year anniversary and already it has started on the wrong foot, note, page....The question is how to translate your successes in each area of your life. The hardest thing in a relationship is to keep the same strategy or pattern as relationships continues to change.Your spouse is really "not the person you first married" and neither are you.

TO BE CONTINUED....

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Transformations

I am back. Lots of changes have happened. I took an eight month hiatus  into the real world and away from online blogging which can substitute for real life. This three year blog was a saving grace for the stress and anxiety of moving here and not being able to find a job. "At the time blogging was the empowerment that was needed as a venue for focusing on ones talent verses the seemingly invisible walls cropping up with each progression that one makes." So what did I do with all the time I had as an educated wife and mother? Turn lemons into.... my own non-profit for scholarships given to minorities.

So what did I do on my 8 month vacation? I worked on myself. Before I gave to my family, my relatives, my dear friends, my job, my foundation, and my blogs. I took time to do things I enjoyed without feeling guilty or worrying, or at least I fought the feelings. Here I was giving the same advice to others out of concern for them and realized I should be just as concerned for myself. I took much better care of myself and did the things I once enjoyed. I took chances and made the most of many opportunities; I even started new hobbies I was surprised I would enjoy.

I am really not the same person I was eight months ago.  It is to the point where I
feel much healthier and feel almost..... transformed. I learned what we all know to be true but I was able to change my relationships and family dynamics for the better, just from taking care of myself. It does not stop there. In hindsight I was always being transformed. Even when I was not working and with each "good" and "bad" event that happened to me, it forced me to grow. We are always growing. It does not take an event. It is minute intervals, day by day and choice by choice. Growth is not just physical but emotional as well. We are transformational beings with a desire towards doing good and making good.

Fill in the blank for yourself: When given a lemon I (made)_____________. 

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The Power of Information

This is what I have learned this month: "The Power of Information". Between a husband and wife there is a certain level of loyalty; of course within safe limits. It is important for your spouse to feel protected in that way and never embarrassed. The hurt that comes from simple betrayal can be damaging. We have to be careful even amongst friends to not "shoot off at the mouth about personal things regarding your other half; even if it seems harmless." Best to be methodical and leave it unsaid. You not only save his reputation but yours as well.

With your children and teenagers you should remember it is always important to speak well of them around others. When seeking advice, make sure they are not around to hear you because they will find out. You should keep their insecurities to yourself. Don't think just because they are young they feel and understand less. It is just as big to them as if someone you loved told your deepest and even darkest secret.

At work, you may know lots of things about your coworkers that management staff has no idea. Many people may say share the negative information out of a good gossip deflecting from self or as an injustice for you getting blame or trouble as a result of another staff's doing. Even if they get promoted don't share the information. God, the Universe, reveals everything. Move on. If it is emotionally too much to carry, speak to someone you trust (not at work) to help you become resolved. There are times when one must not hold their tongue. If you or someone else were so wronged that you cannot move on, by all means speak but realize for some people money is more powerful than ethics. They will remove themselves from feeling bad for you, for in the end it will always be about themselves, their career and their livelihood.

Moving on gives a fresh start and sometimes the best mirror as you are out of the equation. Your worth and gifts will always be weighed once absence. And sometimes that's just how lessons are learned, on both parts.

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The Flip Side of Dating.

This is a must see video. It is sooo funny. Image if the shoe was on the other foot when it comes to dating. Just click below.

The Flip Side of Dating.

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Oldest Married Couple's Motto

*My younger sister sent me a text with a picture of the oldest known married couple, living today. When asked for advice and secret to their marriage this was their reply:

"In our day when something was broken we fixed it, not throw it away."

During an interview, this is the answer they gave the interviewer when asked about the most important thing when having a bad day in the relationship:

"Remember marriage is not a contest – never keep a score. God has put the two of you together on the same team to win."

When asked during that same interview about fighting they said:

"NEVER physically! Agree that it’s okay to disagree, & fight for what really matters. Learn to bend – not break!"

For the full interview click HERE.

 Herbert and Zelmyra Fisher of North Carolina.

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Chris August-"Center Of It"

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Lesson in Today's Sunday Service

Hope you enjoyed the anniversary blog party. To see the beginning, just scroll down and click "older posts" at the bottom of the screen.

I attend an amazing church and today was Teen Sunday, which meant teenagers led the service. What a fabulous job they did. There were videos, singing, comedy, and an amazing play. It was the message that was taught by three young men with different styles. I loved that at such a young age they were brutally honest about their life.

What I learned from them was that I have the wrong definition of Love. My definition will have to be redefined. I thought love was reciprocal and that when you give 100% the other person should give 100% as well. I have discovered that Jesus definition of Love is, you give 100% even if the other person does not express love back. This is the true sacrifice of Love. You love even if the other person does not. This is true Love. If your love is conditional on what you get in return, this is not true love.

Mind blowing isn't it? If you think about it even deeper on a spiritual level, God loves us, even when we do not love him. It reminds me of a scripture I learned in college, Romans 5:6-8. Basically it says, even though we did not know God/Christ, he helped us and sacrificed his life for us and that God/Christ showed the extent of his love for us even when we rejected him. We all know rejection hurts. Who would continue to love after being rejected. This is what I learned today; True Love continues to love your child, your teenager, your mother and father, your relatives and your spouse, even when their love does not add up to your expectations.

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