Dr. Phil-Quote

"You Teach People How to Treat You". -Dr. Phil

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Dr. Peter Fraenkel-New Book Release

If you are in New York, there is going to be a book signing at the renowned Ackerman Institute. My former Couples & Marriage Counseling Professor's new book release is coming March 31, 2011 at 7pm to 9pm. The institute is located at 149 East 78th Street, NY, NY 10075.

SYNC YOUR RELATIONSHIP,

SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE

By Peter Fraenkel

Reviews

"Couples today are time starved and out of sync. Peter Fraenkel has devised a powerful set of

tools to help couples take on the challenges of time pressure, overstuffed work schedules, and

contemporary life's frenetic pace, so that partners can reconnect, revitalize, and preserve their

relationship."

—Evan Imber-Black, author of The Secret Life of Families

“Time has been called the "new currency" in today's world with too much to do and not enough

time to do it. Yet each of us manages these pressures in different ways. In a fascinating new

book, Peter Fraenkel shows us how our approaches to time and the rhythms of our lives spill

over into our couple relationships. Even more importantly, he offers practical suggestions for

improving.”

--Ellen Galinsky, President, Families and Work Institute, Author of Mind in the Making

"Couples that play together stay together, but only if they play in harmony. With great warmth,

wit and wisdom, Peter Fraenkel shows how to reboot our relationships by re-syncing our

personal metronomes. If you are part of a couple, happy or unhappy, you need to read this book.

It will rock your marriage - in a good way!"

--Carl Honoré, author of In Praise of Slowness and Under Pressure.

“Peter Fraenkel puts forth some of the most pertinent and useful ideas about the time famine that

afflicts couples today. You must take the time, read this timely book and find out how you can

redeem your relationship from the time crunch. Peter Fraenkel is an inspiring writer and an

inspired therapist. You are sure to enjoy your time with him.”

—Esther Perel, Author of Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Domestic and the Erotic.

“All couples struggle with the rhythms of family, business and personal priorities. So your

relationship had better be in sync. Peter Frankel sheds unique light on the key challenges

couples face, and addresses them in a way that is extremely consumable, and most importantly,

actionable.”

—Gregory T. Rogers, founder and president RayLign Advisory

“A very timely book on a topic that all couples deal with. … Peter Fraenkel helps us understand

that our internal pace and couple rhythm are hidden under virtually all issues, and he uncovers

the mystery of time in ways that will amaze and engage all readers.”

—Howard Markman, Co-director of the Center for Marital and Family Studies and author

of Fighting for Your Marriage

*I will be purchasing the book and of course a blog review on the material. It would be nice if we could have a blog book club for Dr. Fraenkel's book. You will get so much more out of it if you read it yourself. He is pretty good and very humorous. I will also re-post my notes from his amazing workshop in 2009.

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Food, Fun, Games & Ms. Secrets

I am exhausted and elated at the same time. Everyone showed up to the Women's Night except one person and that is because she delivered her baby boy two weeks ago. The table was filled with all sorts of food and goodies as well as punch and wine. (For a great punch I learned to just use powdered punch and no water, just add Sprite or 7up). -SAVE DRAFT

FEBRUARY 8, 2011-I had to continue this post today, as Friday night and the weekend totally drained me. Now to continue with the follow up from GNO....We played the "Who am I?" game which was a hit. A woman's name such as Halle Berry, Princess Diana, Lucille Ball, Oprah Winfrey, Hilary Clinton, etc. was taped to the back of each person who entered. You could only ask two questions where the person could only answer yes or no. For example, "Am I still alive?" Then move on until you figure out who you are. (You cannot ask the same person consecutively).

Everyone ate when they wanted. After mingling for an hour, we sat down and I went around the room and spoke about the strengths of each person. There were comments, laughter and somehow we started discussing the school bus, soy products, teas and something that happened to our newest member, which were all very interesting believe it or not. Then I spoke about being a mother and the thing I would like to change about my parenting which is to be more patient in conversation with my older son and I spoke about being a wife and what it means to "keep the hunter hunting". With that I pulled out a Vicky bag and gave each person a wrapped gift of trendy undies from Ms. Secrets.

They all began screaming and opened their gifts, as there were a variety of colors and patterns. Turns out others started sharing on my topic and it turned into a great and simple discussion. We ended on time and everyone went back to small groups trickling home when someone mentioned maybe we should do a book club next time, once a month but we will have to find a good book to all read together. "Great idea" was pretty much our last words. Everyone said what a great time they had. We started at 7:30 sharp and we were finished at 9:00. Everyone was gone at 10:30 and I turned up the volume to the music, dancing free throughout the house. The boys will be back at 11:30 and I had an hour to myself.

Sorry I was so detailed but I did not want you to miss a thing. You know how women can be. "Tell me every detail". Also I wanted to give you ideas of what to do and not do, if you decided to host your own Girls Night Out. I really enjoyed myself and on Monday morning we took our children to the bus stop as usual and everyone was all smiles and friendly. This was my favorite part of GNO; friendships were built, we were refreshed, the children benefited and the husbands were highly encouraged, I'm sure.

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Women's Night

I am planning a Women's Night this upcoming Friday. I just moved to the Virginia area and I am a total New Yorker. While here, I have made friends with other women just by going to the bus stop in our little community, to send off and pick up our children. I have also met wives and mothers from the incredible PTA that exists for the children's new top notch school.

It was so needed to bond with other women especially during the transitional phase. Around here, new people move in and out from all over the world. You are a veteran if you have lived here more than 6 months. We found a young lady who has been living here for 2 years and it was the talk of the community.

I have been invited to tea, shopping at T.J. Maxx, Kohls (where I have never shopped before), attending business seminars, eating at nice restaurants, having play dates with the children, given leads to jobs that were hiring in my field, etc. They have been great. So that's why I decided to have a dinner to thank all of them for being so welcoming when I first came. I added a few new people as well just to pay the forward and help them to feel as welcomed as I did.

I am planning a nice spread of delectables. I have two great games to share. They are so much fun and I will make some time for us to go deep and talk as women. I will give a short thank you speech and close out with a nice gift for coming. It will probably be an hour and a half of laughing and getting to know each other. One of my friends will be leaving. She is from Australia and moving to Utah as her husband will be relocating for work. I will miss her a bunch.

I love spending time with other women. There is just something very special about it. It's rear that we as women have such a venue so I was excited about creating this opportunity. I'll definitely have a follow up post to let you know how everything goes. If you are thinking about doing something similar, please do so. It is so needed and very inspiring. I'm anxious that everything turns out well but excited at all the confirmations. Stay tuned....

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For the Love of Skype!

For the Love of Skype!

Although my field is mental health, I had an opportunity to work as an Administrative Assistant which I thought would be the death of me. I am used to running around and in positions where I am running my own program. So as many Americans have experienced, "I need a job" and what you did before or what you attain to, must sometimes be derailed. Good thing as I learned skills I would have never learned if I hadn't been laid off. I was surprised to even love my supervisor who is extremely hard line. Anyway, I was working in a computer department of a college. I became pretty savvy with the whole programs, brands, companies and technology of the future. So this was four years of keeping that place on a tight reign. I'm so surprised that now no one will hire me in this position, as I was sooo good at my job. I surprised myself.

One of the things I discovered was all those in supervisory positions were Skyping. My husband is a brilliant man in the same field and one day came home with a Skype account. I was not technologically hungry to use it. It was nice just having it and being in the "upper techy crowd". He Skyped the way you would with the phone and at that time he did not know many users outside his work relationships. After he got me an account he set up an account for his family members. Even his mother was Skyping! So we started talking through Skype more regularly and he made mine automated (it pops up automatically, I do not need to log in or click buttons). This brings me to the point of my post. My husband went away on a three day consultation with a company in Virginia Beach. We are not away from each other that long, that often. "On his way out the door he said don't worry, I'll Skpe you". I said, "Oh yeah", with a smile of relief. Sure enough he Skyped me. We spoke often. He even gave me a tour of the hotel and beach. It was nice. The children were able to say goodnight each night and tell them about their day. My husband is back and I had his favorite meal ready when he came home.

Now I love Skype. I saw it's necessity in my life. The reason for all technology. I remember seeing visual communication on old sci-fi movies, who would have thought it would be here today at our disposal. Maybe one day blogs will go Skype. Wait that probably already exists-"Ahh for the love of Skype!"

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I can see my nose!

I know you all know the saying. I can see my feet! Which of course insinuates that you have loss weight. Well this is a marker for me that I have truly loss weight, before I even get to the scale. Strange maybe, but let me explain. I have small almond size eyes, medium thick lips and a nose I just simply love, given to me by my mother.

My nose has a small bridge and is pointed round, but altogether small. On a whole my face is round. This is the worst for me because any weight gain causes me to look like a balloon. This is my sincere blame: I now have two kids. Yet "everywhere else on me is livable". So the title of this post is my scale. When I notice how thin and pointed my nose is, I realize that I loss weight as my cheeks which has lessen to uncamouflage my nose. In short the illusion of my checks makes me look bigger than I really am. Once they decrease in size all of a sudden I discover my wonderful nose.

So it's a nice little gauge. I think I prefer bottom cheeks filling up more, but of course, the grass is always greener. Isn't it?

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Looking ahead to MMXI (2011)

Happy New Year Everyone. I have been reminiscing on 2010 and realizing how much I was working although I was not working (employed). I don't know where to start. Last time this year I was coming back from oversees as we went abroad for the holidays. The boys really enjoyed being in nature and they came back more grateful than when they left. My husband and I were happy to visit family, especially his mother whom I love so dearly.

I can't begin to write out all the things I did this year, so I will sum them up.

• Traveled abroad on a three week vacation.
• Celebrated my husband and younger son's birthday.
• Found and apartment to move to in VA
• Resigned from a job that grew on me while looking for work in VA.
• Transferred the children's school to relocate in VA.
• Built new relationships in VA.
• Found the sister church to the one I was going to in NY.
• Master's Degree finally came in the Mail.
• Apply for licensure in VA and DC
  
• Decided to keep up both blogs as I also have a blog on Humanitarian Giving.
• Started volunteering at my children's new school since I have free time.
• Looked for work as though I was working a full time job.
• Started a non-profit.
• Focused on my marriage. Putting in the love needed especially during the transition.
• Reaching out to family members I love but rarely get to encourage.
• Husband and I volunteer with children, tutoring on the weekends.
  
• Assisting with homework for my older son. (Forgot how much I hate math).
  
• Two separate visits to the emergency room for both sons. (One choked on a meat sandwich the other other tripped over his brother's bookbag and hurt himself. Thank God they are both doing well).
  

It's been a very busy year for our household. Now I hope this year will be more stable work-wise as I have a lot to say about this topic in upcoming weeks.

May your MMXI be a Healthy, Prosperous and Joyful year!

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