Live Ever After: April 2011

I haven't written in a while because I have been going through a growth spurt. You know the times when you take everything in, you assess your life, you look in hindsight and prosight and become sober as to where you are in your present state of life. What you expected doesn't always happen and the control you thought you had is really out of your hands and the energy you must give to your family, you must simply give, unselfishly. You learn from your spouse and you say nothing in order to hear them and drink in their view. The children have no concern except that life should stay as it is, carefree.

Your priorities are set and you sometimes are just forced to wait. Waiting is more powerful than one thinks. Although it is opposite of doing something, it is still an action. "Silence is my friend" I must sometimes tell myself, as I am a high frequency type of girl. This month, the month of April, represents new life and I guess that includes me as well. I shed this cocoon of ideals from last year and have adapted a whole new concept for living my life. I giggle to myself of all the new things I have taken on. It's almost like a new personality to do all the fear provoking events that in the past defined me. I am becoming a new person. I feel it and welcome it. It feels uncomfortable but I am becoming a better me.

It isn't like a midlife crisis as chaotic as that was. It's another milestone in Erickson's stage of Generativity vs. Stagnation. It's calm, its confident, it's curious as to what will come next. It's the fact that you have never been the age you are now, before. You have never been the age you will be, tomorrow. We can assume we have everything summed up but that really is foolish. You are never too old to learn. Honestly, have you always wanted to learn to play the piano or another language or take a dance and pottery class? It's never too late to work on you. Go back to school if that is your desire. Just don't stop growing. What matters is that in the end you are proud of what you have done and the different person you have become. That you have no regrets. You invested in yourself and those you love. Warning: Look out for fear. He is always creeping around. Don't let him stop you from growing into the true you.

Today was a changing day for me and my relationships with my sons. Specifically my eight year old. Yesterday he was well behaved for a majority of the day and I couldn't stop praising him for each thing he did that was kind or considerate or helpful. Honestly, at this age, days like this one, is hard to come by. Even during bedtime he wished I would stop kissing him as he had tired himself out with play.

I realized he needed a really good day to understand what I wanted to teach him. Now my son is great to everyone and almost an angel out of the house. In the house he is comfortable enough to get sassy, pretend he did not hear me and take 1 hour to write one homework sentence. Well today I told him I had 5 secrets to life that I wanted to share with him. He is maturing, I am getting closer to departure and I felt the need to give some jewels of wisdom. He was eager to hear and searched for a pen and paper. We headed out to the car and while my husband was driving and his little brother adding to the discussion we started our 5 point lesson with full description and questioning if he could first tell me what he thought they meant.

He put them away and my younger son wanted to add more of his wisdom to the list and made some of his points such as be kind and love your friends. Of course I told him he was absolutely correct. So here are the Five Secrets to Life; by yours truly, listed below:

Intelligence-Always growing in your knowledge and bettering yourself academically.
Social Intelligence-Understand your environment in order to act accordingly.
Emotional Intelligence-(Harvard Study) Have appropriate emotions (control & consideration)
Spiritual Intelligence-Have a connection with God through scriptures & People with the same values.
Financial Intelligence-Enjoy it, give it to those in need and save a lot of it.

Also check out a good blog article on link to "having good morals".