Stalemate

>> Tuesday, May 08, 2012

Does it seem like your relationship comes to a standstill? As though you have been in this place once before or a few times. Do you say to yourself, "I thought we were past this or resolved about this issue". It is actually common and will probably happen again in a few years or next month.

The truth is we can only focus on a few things, at one time, in a relationship. Sometimes one thing at a time, depending on our spouse. Sometimes we forget or plain ol' wasn't working on it at all. But here is the problem or issue again. It's almost like a recognizable face. "Haven't I seen you before?" or "Didn't we meet?". It may be due to your character and it brings a lot of guilt with it. It may be due to your spouse and you will need to extend a whole lot of grace.

Try not to focus on how do we get out of it but that you did get out of it; together. Also don't be surprised if you arrive in this place again. It will get easier each time. The secret is....one of you has to take lead out of the situation. If its finances, lead to get on track, romance, lead to teach how it's done, if it's communication, lead in apologies or understanding that it's a weakness that needs to be cultivated.

As the leader inspire yourself. You may have to lead the next time you arrive at this point. Always keep in mind that you are complementing your spouse and that they are leading in your area of weakness, that you may not be aware of. And for those of you who have no idea what I am talking about; disregard : ) For those who have been there; file this away as a reference. And to all who are in this situation currently, you're doomed. (Just kidding). There is always a universal pull from a position of stalemate to the original state of lifemate.

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