Adult Growth Spurts

I haven't written in a while because I have been going through a growth spurt. You know the times when you take everything in, you assess your life, you look in hindsight and prosight and become sober as to where you are in your present state of life. What you expected doesn't always happen and the control you thought you had is really out of your hands and the energy you must give to your family, you must simply give, unselfishly. You learn from your spouse and you say nothing in order to hear them and drink in their view. The children have no concern except that life should stay as it is, carefree.

Your priorities are set and you sometimes are just forced to wait. Waiting is more powerful than one thinks. Although it is opposite of doing something, it is still an action. "Silence is my friend" I must sometimes tell myself, as I am a high frequency type of girl. This month, the month of April, represents new life and I guess that includes me as well. I shed this cocoon of ideals from last year and have adapted a whole new concept for living my life. I giggle to myself of all the new things I have taken on. It's almost like a new personality to do all the fear provoking events that in the past defined me. I am becoming a new person. I feel it and welcome it. It feels uncomfortable but I am becoming a better me.

It isn't like a midlife crisis as chaotic as that was. It's another milestone in Erickson's stage of Generativity vs. Stagnation. It's calm, its confident, it's curious as to what will come next. It's the fact that you have never been the age you are now, before. You have never been the age you will be, tomorrow. We can assume we have everything summed up but that really is foolish. You are never too old to learn. Honestly, have you always wanted to learn to play the piano or another language or take a dance and pottery class? It's never too late to work on you. Go back to school if that is your desire. Just don't stop growing. What matters is that in the end you are proud of what you have done and the different person you have become. That you have no regrets. You invested in yourself and those you love. Warning: Look out for fear. He is always creeping around. Don't let him stop you from growing into the true you.