10 Common Mistakes Parents Make

>> Sunday, May 16, 2010

Look what I found. I have a habit of being a pack rat with important papers. You never know when you will need this valuable information. I can't throw away my educational collection until it is at least 10 years old. I have "the goods" down to two Tupperware bins. All educational stuff. This piece, I think, is from a parenting workshop for couples.

10 Common Mistakes Parents Make

1. Inadequate Supervision-Experts have found after school hours and before dinner are peak hours for most kids to get into trouble. If in daycare make frequent unannounced visits to make sure your child is being supervised.

2. Failing to Listen-As parents we are too much in a hurry. Slow down. Observe. Especially at play time. I will add, bedtime as quality time, to hear about your child's day. You'll get to know them better.

3. Short-sighted Parenting-Allow room for growth. Let them handle problems before jumping in. Your aim is to create successful adults. They need the experience of difficult situations. Intervene to help them to solve a problem. Do not solve it for them.

4. Over Scheduling-Kids need down time as that is when they are able to create. Going from activity to activity creates stress and anxiety rather than several hours in the week (besides tv) to have unscheduled time for their own extracurricular activities.

5. Arguing in Front of Children-Children should see parents disagree. It's healthy for them to see you both have your own opinions. Marriage professionals agree that full blown arguments in front of the children is damaging behavior, especially for boys, for as they grow up, they become insensitive and un-relatable to women in a healthy way.

6. Inconsistency-Children need to feel their parents are in control. It is a part of feeling protected and safe. Children learn from inconsistent parents that whining and begging are effective tools for negotiation. When no is no, no should be no. (My tip: during these times do not feel guilty because you have made many yeses, yes. Take confidence in that, in order to make a no, no. You are being fair).

7. Ignoring Your Intuition-Do not be too trusting, of your child, or others children. Have a balance and stay in tuned with the small voice inside you, even if it is easier to just go with the flow.

8. Too Much TV-Again, experts say children spend more time looking at tv than in meaningful conversation with their children.

9. Out-of-Control Materialism-"Kids today have way too much stuff". One successful father states when his children were young he used to talk to them and find out about their day after school. Their friends used to come over as well just to talk. He found that children just need an adult to listen to them.

10. Neglecting Your Spouse-We too often make children the center of our relationships, loosing site of your couple-ship. Try to spend at least 10 minutes or more a day that the kids are aware of and know should go uninterrupted.